Sisterhood
The Sister Accord by Sonia Jackson Myles
I resolve to establish an agreement with ALL of my sisters—whether they are strong or weak, rich or poor, educated at Harvard or educated on 17th Street, working in the C-Suite or cleaning it. Whether they be independent or leaning and depending, confident or lacking self-esteem, fighting back or being abused and misused. I will uphold this commitment to my sisters.
I resolve to…Be honest and truthful*Be supportive of your dreams and aspirations* Be forgiving* Be loving and kind* Be thoughtful with my words—ensuring that our every encounter and conversation is uplifting*Remain loyal and faithful to our friendship*Remain your shelter in the time of storms—your confidante*Refrain from judging*Refrain from negative thoughts and words about you.
…Because *you are my sister*the time is now—our children are depending on us* we have so much work to do.
In the new Essence there is a must read Black Women Behaving Badly. In reading this many questions were asked which ignited something in me to address this from, of course, my point of view. First, I’m going to deal with dealing with women in general. I have always found it much easier to deal with white women than I have women of color. And I am not just talking about “black women”. Women of color include Hispanic women as well.
First, just because you are a certain complexion or nationality that doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. I recall one time back in our clubbing days... me and my daughter’s Godmother, who is also my Best Friend were out with, who was at the time my best friend, and another mutual friend. Both of the other girls are Puerto Rican, my Best Friends is tall and darker than the rest of us. So this guy asks her if he can buy her a drink. Of course she told him yeah, if he bought all of us a drink. So he did. I handed my at the time best friend her drink, and she says, where did this come from. So I told her and she had the nerve to say…he don’t see me sitting over here. Are you serious? Was the first thing that came to my mind. So I had to let her know not everyone wants you.
I know over the years I have had a lot of stares, turned up noses, and whispers behind my back because of my complexion and because I carry myself a certain way. I have never been an “ugly chic” inside or out. And I’ve always known it. I have had people automatically not like me because of my light skin. Not even getting to know me they immediately thought I was “stuck up”.
I have had female “friends” that people told me not to hang with because of their so-called reputation. I must give myself credit for one thing…I’ve always gave people the benefit of the doubt (especially other women) until they crossed me. And once that happens I have very few words for you.
The older I get, for some strange reason, the more I feel a need for me to play a significant part in the growth and understanding of how this Sisterhood thing works, and spreads.
Black women are quick to say that white women shouldn’t be with “our” men because they can’t understand they can’t understand their struggle. Well as black women…we should understand each other’s struggles. And support each other instead of tearing each other down.
It’s a shame at 36 that I’m still seeing other black women polluting their negativity on others.
Am I guilty of this…YES! I try day in and day out to not do it. But until you admit to yourself that it’s a problem, you won’t do anything to change it. I am learning to deal with all types of women. I keep getting drawn to organizations that promote “sisterhood”.
I’m the Branch President and National Director of Training & Development for Mocha Sisters Organization (www.mochasisters.com) and a model liaison for the National Faces of Curve Appeal (www.projectcurveappeal). Both of these organizations require me to interact, work with, teach, understand, learn from, bond with, and care for women that I may not normally encounter. I have “sisters” all across the country now because of these two wonderful organizations I belong to.
So with all of that…the pledge at the beginning of my blog, at the age of 36, I can say it with conviction and honesty. I’m learning to teach women that I come in contact with what I know, and to learn from them.
Women of Color, we don’t have much cause we ask not. Stop stabbing each other in the back and walk up to me, shake my hand, and ask me how you can be down. I tell women that admire (Helen Blocker-Adams, Gwen DeVoe) just to name a few, that when I grow up I want to be just like them.
Check out www.sisterhoodagenda.com
Until next time
Smooches,
Mogulette Diva
I resolve to establish an agreement with ALL of my sisters—whether they are strong or weak, rich or poor, educated at Harvard or educated on 17th Street, working in the C-Suite or cleaning it. Whether they be independent or leaning and depending, confident or lacking self-esteem, fighting back or being abused and misused. I will uphold this commitment to my sisters.
I resolve to…Be honest and truthful*Be supportive of your dreams and aspirations* Be forgiving* Be loving and kind* Be thoughtful with my words—ensuring that our every encounter and conversation is uplifting*Remain loyal and faithful to our friendship*Remain your shelter in the time of storms—your confidante*Refrain from judging*Refrain from negative thoughts and words about you.
…Because *you are my sister*the time is now—our children are depending on us* we have so much work to do.
In the new Essence there is a must read Black Women Behaving Badly. In reading this many questions were asked which ignited something in me to address this from, of course, my point of view. First, I’m going to deal with dealing with women in general. I have always found it much easier to deal with white women than I have women of color. And I am not just talking about “black women”. Women of color include Hispanic women as well.
First, just because you are a certain complexion or nationality that doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. I recall one time back in our clubbing days... me and my daughter’s Godmother, who is also my Best Friend were out with, who was at the time my best friend, and another mutual friend. Both of the other girls are Puerto Rican, my Best Friends is tall and darker than the rest of us. So this guy asks her if he can buy her a drink. Of course she told him yeah, if he bought all of us a drink. So he did. I handed my at the time best friend her drink, and she says, where did this come from. So I told her and she had the nerve to say…he don’t see me sitting over here. Are you serious? Was the first thing that came to my mind. So I had to let her know not everyone wants you.
I know over the years I have had a lot of stares, turned up noses, and whispers behind my back because of my complexion and because I carry myself a certain way. I have never been an “ugly chic” inside or out. And I’ve always known it. I have had people automatically not like me because of my light skin. Not even getting to know me they immediately thought I was “stuck up”.
I have had female “friends” that people told me not to hang with because of their so-called reputation. I must give myself credit for one thing…I’ve always gave people the benefit of the doubt (especially other women) until they crossed me. And once that happens I have very few words for you.
The older I get, for some strange reason, the more I feel a need for me to play a significant part in the growth and understanding of how this Sisterhood thing works, and spreads.
Black women are quick to say that white women shouldn’t be with “our” men because they can’t understand they can’t understand their struggle. Well as black women…we should understand each other’s struggles. And support each other instead of tearing each other down.
It’s a shame at 36 that I’m still seeing other black women polluting their negativity on others.
Am I guilty of this…YES! I try day in and day out to not do it. But until you admit to yourself that it’s a problem, you won’t do anything to change it. I am learning to deal with all types of women. I keep getting drawn to organizations that promote “sisterhood”.
I’m the Branch President and National Director of Training & Development for Mocha Sisters Organization (www.mochasisters.com) and a model liaison for the National Faces of Curve Appeal (www.projectcurveappeal). Both of these organizations require me to interact, work with, teach, understand, learn from, bond with, and care for women that I may not normally encounter. I have “sisters” all across the country now because of these two wonderful organizations I belong to.
So with all of that…the pledge at the beginning of my blog, at the age of 36, I can say it with conviction and honesty. I’m learning to teach women that I come in contact with what I know, and to learn from them.
Women of Color, we don’t have much cause we ask not. Stop stabbing each other in the back and walk up to me, shake my hand, and ask me how you can be down. I tell women that admire (Helen Blocker-Adams, Gwen DeVoe) just to name a few, that when I grow up I want to be just like them.
Check out www.sisterhoodagenda.com
Until next time
Smooches,
Mogulette Diva
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