Our Children

Today would be classified as a memorable day for me. As most of you know, I mentor girls through Mocha Sisters Organization in our D.R.E.A.M. Program.  A quick summary of the way the mentoring program works is we meet with the girls that are in the program once a month and conduct workshops on different topics which include but aren’t limited to: Dating do’s and don’ts, etiquette, self-esteem, etc. The core focus of D.R.E.A.M. is to re-introduce MATH to the girls in a different form, in hopes to get them interested in fields such as engineering, accounting, etc. Fields where there is a lack of minority women.

Today’s workshop was self-esteem. The girl’s that were in attendance, so far aren’t lacking in the positive self esteem area, which is good. However, during an open discussion part of the workshop, one of the girls revealed that she has no one to talk to. She said her mother has told her that she doesn’t want to talk to her, and she doesn’t want her talking to her about her anything. This 12 year old girl proceeded to tell us that she feels that is why her mother continues to put her in these programs similar to Mocha Sisters Organization, so that she won’t have to talk to her.

With that being said, I don’t deem myself as an expert in this parenting field, but I do know that I’m a pretty good mother. I do know that when I was a child I can recall instances where things happened and I would remember thinking, I didn’t ask to be here. I’ve carried that train of thought into my parenting job, and I always try to remember that my kids didn’t ask to be here. With that, I do the best I can to make sure they have what they need, and they can come and talk to me about anything. I can remember growing up, and for a period in my childhood, not having anyone to talk to about the things that I was dealing with. As a child, that has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

These girls have no idea that in the course of us trying to help them and have an effect on their lives, that they are impacting ours just as much. As an active parent in my children’s lives I have an extremely hard time understanding why these parent’s aren’t taking the necessary time to raise their kids. If they don’t know how to be a parent, why aren’t they taking some parenting classes? Do they not understand what these kids are going through? Is not enough that they have to deal with the everyday mess at school, with other kids, etc but on top of it all, they can’t talk to their parents.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know that I’m going to do what I can to help those I come in contact with in hopes that they will do the same as an adult. We have a responsibility to our children whether we birthed them or not.