Absent Parents
I come in contact with a lot of different issues on a daily basis. So it’s usually hard for me to choose what to write about. And sometimes I just don’t have the time to sit down and blog.
But today I had to. Even though I should really be getting ready for my trip to Dallas.
But today there was something that came across my plate that I just had to talk about while it’s heavy on my mind.
The other day, I posted on FB about my daughter’s donor. I call him that b/c making a baby doesn’t make you a father or a daddy. It just means you donated some sperm for that particular child to be here. My daughter turned 11 on Friday. He sends her a message via myspace to wish her a happy birthday. It wasn’t until 7pm that he actually picked up the phone to call her. Hell the day was over by then.
Now before anyone goes on the tangent and says…well at least he called. That may be the case and that may be the “Normal” thing to say or think. However, this is your daughter. You should be one of the first people she hears from on her birthday. Not one of the last. If her Godmother can drive 2 ½ hours to spend time with her, then damn, you can drive 20 minutes to take her to lunch or something. Remember, no birthday card either.
But as always, mama, Godmothers, Grandfather, and step-father are always there to save the day. My daughter had a great birthday and will continue to every year that I’m breathing.
That leads me to the next topic at hand. My husband has a child from a prior relationship. This child is an adult. He doesn’t call my husband and say happy birthday, happy father’s day, merry Christmas, die slow, nothing. He posts things on myspace on his status that say, “I won’t be like my sorry ass dad…etc.” Now he hears from my husband on his birthday, and when we go to Florida to visit.
2 weeks ago I was on myspace and my step-son had something very inappropriate about his dad on his status. Ok, we don’t sweat it. I log on to myspace today and there’s a message from my step-son…asking for $200. Are you serious? First off, you are a grown ass man. Second, you don’t even call your dad to say hello or to see how he is doing. Third, you post stuff about how “sorry” he is but you have the nerve to come back 2 weeks later and ask for some money? REALLY?
I say all that to say this…One…men and women who aren’t actively a part of your child’s life…don’t expect much from them when they grow into their own. They could be 11, 21, or 35. They will remember what you did and did not do with or for them.
And Two…children, there comes a time, when you become of age, you can reach out to that absent parent just as well as they can to you. Don’t knock them if you don’t try it
But today I had to. Even though I should really be getting ready for my trip to Dallas.
But today there was something that came across my plate that I just had to talk about while it’s heavy on my mind.
The other day, I posted on FB about my daughter’s donor. I call him that b/c making a baby doesn’t make you a father or a daddy. It just means you donated some sperm for that particular child to be here. My daughter turned 11 on Friday. He sends her a message via myspace to wish her a happy birthday. It wasn’t until 7pm that he actually picked up the phone to call her. Hell the day was over by then.
Now before anyone goes on the tangent and says…well at least he called. That may be the case and that may be the “Normal” thing to say or think. However, this is your daughter. You should be one of the first people she hears from on her birthday. Not one of the last. If her Godmother can drive 2 ½ hours to spend time with her, then damn, you can drive 20 minutes to take her to lunch or something. Remember, no birthday card either.
But as always, mama, Godmothers, Grandfather, and step-father are always there to save the day. My daughter had a great birthday and will continue to every year that I’m breathing.
That leads me to the next topic at hand. My husband has a child from a prior relationship. This child is an adult. He doesn’t call my husband and say happy birthday, happy father’s day, merry Christmas, die slow, nothing. He posts things on myspace on his status that say, “I won’t be like my sorry ass dad…etc.” Now he hears from my husband on his birthday, and when we go to Florida to visit.
2 weeks ago I was on myspace and my step-son had something very inappropriate about his dad on his status. Ok, we don’t sweat it. I log on to myspace today and there’s a message from my step-son…asking for $200. Are you serious? First off, you are a grown ass man. Second, you don’t even call your dad to say hello or to see how he is doing. Third, you post stuff about how “sorry” he is but you have the nerve to come back 2 weeks later and ask for some money? REALLY?
I say all that to say this…One…men and women who aren’t actively a part of your child’s life…don’t expect much from them when they grow into their own. They could be 11, 21, or 35. They will remember what you did and did not do with or for them.
And Two…children, there comes a time, when you become of age, you can reach out to that absent parent just as well as they can to you. Don’t knock them if you don’t try it
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